Tips for Successful Co-Parenting

A couple plays with a small child by swinging them by the hands

A main concern for divorced or separated parents is creating a co-parenting schedule that works year 'round, through school schedules, breaks in the school year, special events, holidays, birthdays, vacations, and more. A good co-parenting schedule can alleviate the stress and tension of navigating schedules with careful planning and organizing, as well as some compromise along the way. If you need help creating a co-parenting schedule that works for you and your child's other parent as well as your children, our network of dedicated, experienced family law attorneys can help you prepare for meetings to create a co-parenting schedule that protects your rights, outlines responsibilities of all involved, and helps you plan and organize a co-parenting plan. Learn more about all the benefits of becoming a member of our Legal Protection Plans for Individuals and Families, and read on for some tips for creating a co-parenting plan that will work for you.

Communication Is Key

Working together with your child's other parent will be crucial to creating a co-parenting plan that works for everyone. Start the discussions about co-parenting early in the process, making lists of important yearly dates for each of you, vacation times if you know them, how to handle school breaks, and more. Consider creating a shared calendar where events and other important happenings can be noted, as well as any other important scheduling (such as school drop off and pick up).

Respect & Compassion

Agreeing not to speak poorly of the other parent and show respect - especially in front of your children - is extremely important to co-parenting your child. Be willing to compromise, show compassion, and be understanding when things don't go as planned. Every decision you make around your child will impact them.

Be Willing To Revisit The Co-Parenting Plan

Situations change and kids grow up, and, as those things happen - and they will! - be willing to come back to the negotiating table and make changes to the co-parenting plan that will make everyone's lives easier. Be willing to adapt to your child's changing schedules, extra curricular activities, interests, and hobbies, as well.

Calendars Are Important Tools

Technology allows us to now have digital calendars that can be shared and edited by anyone in the group, and these are a great way to keep everyone in the loop regarding plans. Making a hard copy to keep in each home isn't a bad idea, either, particularly if you or your family isn't tech savvy.

Agree On House Rules

Children need consistency, and one of the most important areas where things need to be consistent is house rules. These rules can run the gamut from when it is appropriate to watch TV or browse the Internet, time limits on video games and related activities, how and when homework needs to be done, and more. Being lenient with the rules can cause stress in the children and be problematic in both households, as one parent may be seen as "more strict" than the other if the rules aren't enforced consistently in both homes.

Big Picture

In the end, the most important thing is to make your time with your children as stress-free as possible so that you can make treasured memories with your children while you're together instead of focusing on annoyances, slights, or irritations from the other parent, which only causes resentment and isn't productive. Try to make your time with your child about spending time with them first and foremost; the time goes by too quickly!

If you need advice or assistance with creating a co-parenting plan, custody issues, visitation, or child support, the family law attorneys in our network of law firms across the US and Canada can help! Getting advice from a legal professional whenever you're dealing with issues surrounding your children is of the utmost importance, and you can get advice tailored to your specific situation for no additional fee when you become a member of our Legal protection Plans for Individuals & Families.

When You Need To Change A Custody Order

A man with his head in his hands sits on a bench in the foreground while a woman walks away

It is always possible to change a custody order, and it may be in your best interests to work with a family law attorney to help you with the process. Several factors go in to determining how difficult a change to a custody order can be, including how cooperative the other parent will be. There are simple cases where all that is needed is to be able to come to an agreement with the other parent, having your attorney prepare a petition for the court to modify custody, and having a judge sign the court order. Other times, parents may need to complete additional steps, including the possibility of mediation or a court hearing. Having an attorney on your side can help, including convincing a judge of an urgent situation that makes changing the custody order imperative. Members of our legal subscription plans for individuals and families have access to dedicated, qualified family law attorneys who can advise you and guide you through the process for just one low, monthly fee. Plus, you can speak to your provider law firm on an unlimited number of legal issues without ever paying more. Here is some more information on common issues in changing a custody order.

Reasons A Custody Order Might Get Changed

A judge may make a change to a child custody agreement for a few reasons:

• The current arrangement is difficult for one or both parents

• A parent's work schedule has changed

• A parent is moving to another state

• The existing agreement is no longer in the child's best interests

• The current order does not provide for quality time with one parent and/or provide for proper supervision

• The child is struggling in school

• The environment the child is living in has become unsafe, unclean, or is otherwise an unfit environment for the child

• The child's school schedule or extra curricular schedule has changed significantly

• One parent is deliberately blocking the other parent from court-ordered parenting time

• One parent has significant medical, physical, or mental health challenges

• One or both parents are having difficulty following the current parenting plan or one parent is not following the plan for visitation and/or custody

• Things that contribute to the child's well-being - such as visitation, child support, or other items - need modifications

The court may agree and grant a new order, but there are cases where the other parent will need to agree to the new arrangements.

When Can I Request A Custody Modification?

Though it varies from state to state, there usually needs to have been some kind of substantial change in circumstances and that it is in the best interest of the child or children to review and modify the custody order. If you feel that your child is in danger, you should seek the advice of an experienced family law attorney to seek a change in the parenting plan, as it may require filing a motion with the court and a hearing.

What Constitutes A "Material or Significant Change In Circumstances"?

Generally, a significant change in circumstances means changes that:

• Have occurred since the parenting plan was put in place

• Contributed negatively on the child's health, school, or other factors

• Caused significant impact on the child's day-to-day life

• Will benefit the child if the plan is altered

Documentation of the circumstances will usually be required. An attorney can help you understand the requirements in your state.

What If Both Parents Can Reach An Agreement?

When both parents agree on a change to the parenting plan, the court will usually approve the change if it benefits the child or children.  If you can reach a satisfactory agreement with the other parent, make your plan official with a modified court order:

• Write down the details of your new plan

• Have your attorney review the plan to make sure it meets your state's requirements

• Have your lawyer draw up documents

• Both parents must approve the final plan

• File paperwork with the court and set a hearing if needed

• Prepare for the hearing if you need one

• Have the judge sign the new order and file it

If you and the other parent are not able to reach an agreement, one option is mediation. An agreement reached in mediation will probably require a hearing; an attorney can help you understand your rights and what steps you need to take.

When Parents Cannot Agree

If there have been substantial changes in circumstances and you need a modification of your custody order, but the other parent doesn't agree ot rejects your proposal, you may need to collect documentation of the change in circumstances and file it with the court in order to make the changes. Laws vary from state to state, but you may be required to meet with a mediator to try to reach an agreement with the other parent. If the case ends up in court, you may need the following:

• Documentation or evidence of the changes in circumstances

• Proof of negative impacts on the child or children

• Your proposed plan for custody modification

Your attorney will be able to help you identify types and kids of evidence that will be needed in court to build an argument for modification. This may include documents or witnesses to the effects of the change in circumstances. Evidence may include:

• Photographs or video illustrating your concerns

• Report cards

• Disciplinary records from your child's school

• Testimony from doctors, teachers, therapists or other third parties

Our legal subscription plan members have access to experienced family law attorneys to help address legal concerns regarding child custody orders, including giving you advice on what documentation to collect and how to navigate the system in your state. Your lawyer will be able to explain your options based on your unique situation and you can call your attorney on an unlimited number of legal matters. Learn more about all the benefits of being a member of our legal subscription plans for individuals and families or sign up today!

Child Custody - Seven Things You Should Know

A couple discusses paperwork at a desk.

When relationships end, there can be difficulties, and those issues can be harder when children are involved. Most people have questions about child custody in these cases, and, as a member of our legal subscription plans, you'll be able to ask all your child custody questions to a qualified, experienced, family law attorney at no additional cost. But here is a general overview of things you'll want to keep in mind:

Married Couples Maintain Equal Parenting Rights

Unless otherwise ordered by a court, parental rights over children are maintained. Many parents separate before filing for divorce, and either parent can file with the court to be named the custodial parent, and the other parent would receive non-custodial visitation. It is important to put the needs of the children as the number one priority, regardless of other grievances.

The Court Is Concerned With The Child's Best Interests

The court will evaluate several factors when deciding which parent should get custody, including the wishes of the parents, which parent can provide the safest and most stable environment for the children, and, in some cases, if the children are old enough, the wishes of the children, but this varies from court to court. Today, more modern practices are often applied to custody cases. It used to be assumed that children under the age of four should be with their mothers, but more modern thinking has led to joint custody being the standard arrangement.

There Is A Difference Between Physical and Legal Custody

Physical custody is defined as which parent the child lives with and deals with the day-to-day needs of the child while the other parent has visitation rights. Legal custody refers to an arrangement of which parent makes the major decisions about a child's life; today, this is typically a joint custody arrangement. Legal custody has no bearing on physical custody.

Non-Custodial Parents Are Usually Granted Visitation Rights

Most child custody cases grant the non-custodial parent the right to visitation with the child or children, and this can take many forms, and is usually negotiated by the courts between the parents if the parents cannot make a visitation and custody plan themselves for some reason. There are rare circumstances where a court will prohibit the non-custodial parent from having visitation, and those rare occasions usually involve cases of emotional or physical abuse, or some living situation that makes it an unfit environment for the child. Some visitation rights in these cases are restricted, such as rules that visitation must take place with witnesses or at a certain, agreed-upon location or for a certain, agreed-upon amount of time.

Courts Are Giving More Consideration to Father's Rights

Father's rights have been somewhat contentious, as, in the past, it was assumed that the mothers were primary caregivers and fathers have felt dismissed when it comes to the topic of child custody. As society has changed, the courts have adopted more modern thinking, and courts are giving more consideration to maintaining a father's presence in children’s lives. If you feel that your rights as a father have been violated, talk to your attorney who may be able to give you advice on your specific child custody issue.

Parenting Plans Make Custody and Visitation Simple

Parenting plans are agreements that are negotiated by the parents that lay out custody, visitation, holiday schedules, and more. A parenting plan can be submitted to the court ahead of a custody decision. If the court approves the plan, it is incorporated into the custody order.

Remarriage and Blended Families

New family dynamics can take some figuring out and getting used to, and managing emotions is as important as the legal aspects involved. Once families transition into a new dynamic, custody agreements sometimes need to change, as well. While getting remarried doesn't necessarily mean that you'll need to change your custody arrangement, there are situations where it is needed, such as if the new family needs to move to another state or jurisdiction for work. Having an experienced child custody attorney on your side to discuss these changes might ease these transitions, so you can go into a renegotiation of custody agreements prepared.

Child custody issues are never easy, but having a lawyer well versed in child custody and family law when you are negotiating custody, visitation, or trying to get a new custody arrangement will put your mind at ease. You can ask unlimited questions pertaining to child custody, visitation, and more at no additional cost when you're a member of our legal subscription plans. Learn more about this essential benefit today, or sign up now!